I’m only going to say this once, so enjoy it while you can: I love Jordan.
I love the dusty buildings in Amman and the desert at sunset and laundry hanging outside windows on the day the water is delivered.
I’m 37 hours and one minute away from getting on a plane and flying back to America. I spent a day and a half in Azraq (depressing but important place) with the SIT kids. I don’t really do goodbyes, and I really don’t do hugs, but it was a fond fare well any way.
I keep a small notebook full of thoughts that I have that don’t have a better place to go (Joan Didion says it is because people like me have a compulsion and are emotionally unstable). I made a list last week called “thoughts on going home.” It is my waxing slightly philosophical, so skip this part if you think it is boring:
1) You can’t run away from life. Life follows you. Sometimes you can put it on hold for a very short while, but it will still be there.
2) In light of 1) above, you can use struggle and hard times to get stronger. Some times you can feel yourself toughening up.
3) I have done things in my life that are way below my dignity. In the words of Tracy Jordan “Pigeon? Why you eating other peoples French fries? Have some self-respect! Did you know you can fly?”
4) “Home” is a tricky concept
5) Maybe devices that save time and labor are not all they are cracked up to be. There is a beauty in work. I may have to become a Buddhist.
6) Language is beautiful, and powerful.
7) All cultures have good and bad things about them; some should be loved, some should be scorned. America is not as bad as I thought it was when I left.
8) Water and writing are the two things I love most.
9) Friends and laughter can be found any where (though I am particularly fond of mine)
10) Sometimes I wonder if coming abroad teaches you more about a foreign place, or about the place you left.
11) There are too many problems to fix in the world, but we have to keep trying because there is no other option.
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