30 September 2011
Cafe De Artists
Rainbow Street
Jabal Amman, Amman Jordan
5:30 PM
Greetings,
This is the longest blog post any human has ever written. Good thing I know that you will only skim and look at the pictures. What follows is my record of the five days I spent living with a family in the southern Badia region of Jordan. Note to self: Add "Living with a Bedouin family" to the short list of things that has changed my life.
Day 1: Buses, Villages, and Cups of Tea
The fifteen of us who were going to the South Badia met at SIT at 9:00 where we were taken by an energetic bus driver at breakneck speed south. Transportation is easily the most dangerous part of living in Jordan. Every time I get into a bus or cab I fear for my life. There are no seatbelts- something I’m a stickler about in the US- and things like crossing double lines to pass someone is totally normal. In fact, as long as you think the road is wide enough it is totally acceptable to pass in any way you like, including by going onto the sidewalk. I usually just say a prayer and look out the window. Luckily, there was plenty to look at on the bus ride.
The south Jordan desert is beautiful in a completely remote and foreign way. No trees, no houses, just gentle rolling hills, sand, rock, and camels. I was way way too excited to see camels. I am not normal. The slightly insane bus driver stopped five or six times, once to buy a flat of strawberry milk in single serving cartons that confused me. Three hours later, we dropped off some students, switched busses, and arrived at my house in the village of Abu Lessan. I have no idea if that is the proper transliteration of the Arabic spelling, but that is what it sounds like when the locals say it
I was amazed at how big and modern the house was! I hadn’t expected the family to live in a tent, but I had expected something a little more modest. The house is the home of the late skeik. He died about 7 years ago. He was married to four women, who each had a number of children bringing the total immediate family head count to 21 (not including the spouses of various children). Three of the wives have also died, leaving the house populated by five unmarried daughters, one unmarried son, one wife, and one 21 year old college student who was busy trying to keep all the sisters straight. I had never actually met anyone who had multiple wives before (not that I know of anyway). I found it interesting that the sister’s all refer to the wives that are not related to them as “my aunt” but to the children as “my sister” or “my brother”. I suspect that this varies by family.
I went into the kitchen with Sausan (one of the sisters) and served tea (my first of approximately 800 cups that I would drink over the four day stay). I explained that I only spoke a very small amount of Arabic. Sausun, her brother Hamid, and her sister Theirwath (who would become my four day Beouin best friend) spoke enough English for us to get along, but my conversations with the rest of the family were restricted to polite smiles. Theirwath is the youngest sister-she is 27- and Hamid is a few years younger than her.
The family was not nearly as conservative as SIT made me fear. When I got there I was wearing a scarf (on my neck, not my head) and Theirwath told me that I didn’t have to wear it at all if I didn’t want to. Averyone except the older women were dressed in Western clothing, though a little more simply and practically than the high fashion girls in Amman.
Most of the family stayed in Abu Lessan, which meant that all the neighbors were sisters, brothers, aunts, and cousins of the women in the original family home. We ate lunch at the home of Alwad, the eldest son of the sheik, and I learned that I would also be staying the night there. It didn’t really matter, everyone was always coming and going from the various houses. It was almost like one big complex.
After lunch I went back to the big house and socialized (such as I was able) with the sisters. There was a surprisingly strong “girl-power” vibe running through that house. Theirwath and Sausan aren’t nearly as strict about covering themselves as Hiba and Um Hamad, the women in my host family in Amman. Many times they would just drape a scarf over their heads, or even just put on the hood of a sweatshirt. Part of it is probably that they are related to everyone, but it was very clear that these were the sort of women who didn’t take being bossed around. It was fun to listen to them talk, and talk with them as I was able. It reminded me of being home in San Diego and hanging out with my mother, Grandmother, sisters, and aunts.
There was an entirely different feel at Alwad’s house. He and his two sons were waited on by his wife and 5 daughters (all except the littlest one, Rosan. Turns out spoiled children are every where, not just in upper middle class families in America. Alwad would just shout for tea, or an ash tray (He sucked down a cigarette every 13 minutes- I timed him), or anything else, and one of the women would bring it to him. When I got there he immediately told me that I now had an Arabic name, Shahed, and that when he said it I was expected to reply “nam” right away. I was faintly put off my this behavior. I haven’t lived with my parents since I was 18, and even when I did I did not take well to being barked at. Still, I told myself that I would just accept it as part of the experience, and maybe we would learn how to get along.
Rosan was a BIG fan of the camera on the iPhone.
While I had expected the gender discrimination, I was shocked by the tooth decay. The tea is like syrup, and the children eat candy all the time. Both Alwad and Rosan have obviously rotting gums that I couldn’t stand to look at. Between the smoking, tea, and candy, I’m guessing oral health isn’t a huge concern for Bedouin people, though it probably should be. I wonder what the state of the dental profession is here. Is dental health covered by the government medical care system the way mental health is?
Day 2: Hair Houses and Visiting
In the morning I got up and took stock of my mosquito bites (17- but the total would be over 20 by the time I left) and ate breakfast. I went back to Theirwat’s house and she showed me the hair house. When the Sheik built his house he also built a hair house in the back yard. At night all the men from the neighborhood gather here to drink tea, smoke, and, in the words of Hamid “Talk about nothing.”
Hair house interior
I sat in the hair house for quite a while with Hamid and Theirwat, talking about family, history, politics, and religion. The people here love President Obama. One of the sisters who spoke no English, managed to communicate with me by saying “Obama-Good. Bush-Bad. Right?” Hamid was easily the most open, respectful, and kind 20 something Arab man that I have met on this trip. He didn’t ask me if I was married, or if I was interested in “making relationship” or anything creepy like Hiba’s friends and many of the others that I’ve met in Amman. It was really great to be able to talk to someone else openly about Jordanian culture, American culture, and the world at large.
In the afternoon, Theirwath and I went visiting. We walked around Abu Lessan stopping at various homes. Theirwath is something of a rock star in the area because she manages the heath center for the village. The Bedouin people are the only people I have met who are more open and welcoming than people from the American Mid West. At every house we went into we were offered coffee, tea, chocolates, cakes, dinner, and deserts. One of Theirwath’s neighbors runs a tiny, and I mean tiny grocery store out of a room in the courtyard of her house that is about half the size of my closest in San Diego. Theirwath insisted on buying me juice and candy, but I didn’t feel bad about it when she told me that the woman runs the store to support herself and her children (her husband is dead) and that she wants to expand and operate another larger store so that her children can go to university. I was struck by the contrast between the work ethic of this woman, who does whatever she can to get by and create a good life for herself and her children, and the so called “poor” in America who take hand outs from the government.
I loved being able to get out and interact first hand with the locals. They live a simple, happy life. A number of people did ask me if I could help them get visas to come to America because, as Sausan told me “America is where freedom is.”
Day 3: Petra
I was awakened in the morning by Alwad’s daughter Anood telling me “Barbara- It is Nine o’clock” which I assumed meant it was time to wake up. Theirwath arrived shortly after that to tell me that we were going to Petra! I didn’t know anything about Petra, except that it is in an Indiana Jones movie, so I was excited. Theirwath, Anood, Alwad, and I drove down into the valley about 45 minutes where we met with Vanessa and her host family. On the way we stopped so that I could take a picture overlooking a beautiful valley. Alwad had bought a soda, and when he finished it he just pitched it over the edge into the valley. I was shocked and horrified. In California the fine for littering is similar to that of vehicular manslaughter, and it would never even have occurred to me that anyone could ever consider that. Here we were, looking at a beautiful view, and he was throwing trash into it.
The part of Petra that we saw was not the huge expansive parts that are on all the post cards. It was called “Little Petra” and is a little out of the way. There were no other tourists there and it was free to get in. It was small, but amazing! I was happy to get to see it , because I know we’re coming back to Petra with SIT after we get back from Egypt in a few weeks. It was neat to get to see something that wasn’t touristy, and how often do you get to tramp around one of the wonders of the ancient world with a bunch of Bedouins?
Alwad and myself
For lunch we drove into the hills a little way (off roading in a Mercedes- not sure I recommend it) and ate chicken, vegetables, and Bedouin bread on a bluff. From there I watched a Bedouin family that is apparently still “kicking it old style”, as the kids say, heard sheep on horseback. They had a few small horses, a heard of sheep, and a real hair house, the kind used for living, not drinking tea and talking about nothing. I think that lifestyle has a lot to recommend it. I have always liked rural living, and Amman- and San Diego for that matter- stress me out sometimes.
For lunch we drove into the hills a little way (off roading in a Mercedes- not sure I recommend it) and ate chicken, vegetables, and Bedouin bread on a bluff. From there I watched a Bedouin family that is apparently still “kicking it old style”, as the kids say, heard sheep on horseback. They had a few small horses, a heard of sheep, and a real hair house, the kind used for living, not drinking tea and talking about nothing. I think that lifestyle has a lot to recommend it. I have always liked rural living, and Amman- and San Diego for that matter- stress me out sometimes.
At Petra Alwad bought me a few gifts- a silver bracelet, a jewelry box, and a necklace with wooden beads- which I thought was incredibly sweet. Another example of Bedouin hospitality.
I need to do more research on Petra before I go back with the group, it seems like the sort of thing that I’d really be into.
When I got back to Abu Lessan I watched the Barcelona soccer game on TV with Theirwath, Sausan, and Hamid. Hanging out with my friend Cris all summer has made me a moderate soccer fan, and everyone here is really into it. I knew the game was going to end late so I slept at the big house, and I had my own room for the first time since coming to Amman! Glorious.
Day 4: Clinics, School, and Aqaba
In the morning Sausan, Theirwath, and I walked to the local elementary school. It turns out all elementary schools are pretty much the same everywhere, though I did attract quite a lot of attention for being American. The school is pretty small, but seems well run. We had tea in the principal’s office (they never pass up an opportunity for tea around here). I would have liked to sit in on a class, but the rooms were pretty small and there is no need to further distract the students I suppose.
Turns out kid's are the same everywhere
After school I went to visit Theirwath’s clinic. It is a tiny, three room building at the edge of town. Apparently it was closed for several years before Japan International Cooperation Agency (JICA) donated new equipment and they got a grant to re-open. Theirwath runs a program focusing on the empowerment of women through family planning. She provides pre-natal and post natal care, birth control, family planning information, women’s health workshops, and seminars, and takes care of the day to day medical needs of the community.
The clinic
I was really shocked and impressed to find out that there was such a program in such a remote part of south Jordan. I’ve read reports and articles about places where women’s health is completely ignored, and where women have no say in when and how they have children- despite the fact that they are the ones raising them! It is a small clinic, but well equipped and well used by the community.
Theirwath. I adore her.
After lunch we (Theirwath, Alwad, Rosan, Anood, and I) went to Aqaba. Aqaba reminded me a lot of a Middle Eastern Cabo San Lucas. It is a beach town that borders the Red Sea, and there are glass bottomed boats and beach front dining. We stopped first at Theirwath’s sister’s house (that’s right, there are more sisters) and then Theirwath, Anood, one of Anood’s cousins, and I took off to see the city. It is a small town and somewhat touristy, but I liked it. We walked around and had tea at a great little beachfront that Theirwath knew about. She said she didn’t like it much because “poor people come here” but I thought it was great. Out of the way and no huge tour groups. When we come back to Aqaba with SIT I’m going to bring a few people here.
The pier at Aqaba. This picture was taken looking across the Red Sea looking toward Israel.
The shores of the Red Sea
When I got back to Abu Lessan I spent the evening in the living room with Theirwath and her sisters. I showed them every picture on my iPhone (they were really interested in seeing my family) and then went to bed.
I’m sure there is information I forgot to include, and I’m sure that there are parts in this screed that are boring to read (feel free to skim!). It was an amazing experience overall. In many ways it was a totally different part of the world than any I had ever seen before, but in a lot of ways it was exactly the same. It was easily my favorite thing since coming to Jordan. I felt more welcome and at home than I have since I left California, and I hope I can go back before the trip is over.
Cats are the same everywhere too.
What struck me the most was the kindness and openness of the people that I met. Strangers, family members, and everyone else treated me as though I was one of the family.
I have a post about my trip to the Dead Sea in the works. Until then I remain yours truly,
Barbara
